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WHO IS THE PROVERBS 31 WOMAN (and why she’s misunderstood)

The proverbs 31 woman is intimidating. I have found myself asking who is the Proverbs 31 Woman anyway.

Have you ever stopped to wonder why that is?

Maybe you’ve been reading her all wrong. The lord has your best in mind. He created you perfectly, knitting you together in your mother’s womb. We know He’s in control and works with intricate precision every step of the way.

So why put you in a place where your confidence is broken, and intimidation riddles your mind.

Allow me to shine some light on this magnificent woman we seek. Sister, you’ve been understanding the infamous Proverbs 31 woman all wrong and it causes the doubt and broken confidence that plagues your life. Here’s how.


First of all, Proverbs 31 was directed from a mother to a son. This is a mother training her son up in the ways of the Lord. The number one reason a mother would advise her son to seek a Proverbs woman is because history shows, if a man seeks a woman outside the ways of the Lord, she will likely steer him away from God.

That’s the worst thing that could happen to a man. I know as a mother of 5 sons, the single most important aspect in a future wife is that she be godly focused. All other things a can be overcome and dealt with by the power of the Holy Spirit. 

With that said, this mother knew the best thing for her son was a godly woman and she lays out what to look for.



The proverbs 31 woman in all her glory is essentially a Jill of all trades and a master at all.

HA, think about that. There’s a figure of speech used to describe a person who has a broad knowledge of many things but they have zero expertise in nothing.

“Jack of all trades, master and none.”

Yet here we are, reading about a woman who bakes 7 tiered cakes from scratch ingredients she grew. She’s a master steward in handling her finances and adorns herself in dresses made by her own hand of silks and laces she walked miles to buy, sell, and trade. On the way she’s sure to minister to everybody she sees winning souls by her wisdom blessedness. She is seated in perfect humility being praised by her husband and children. 😲

Anyone feel a bit uneasy or thinking, when’s the next bus to nowhere? I’ll just jump on, head out and never return because, I’m not that woman. Maybe if I bow out now no one will notice, am I right.

Thankfully, this beautiful woman is attainable when we see her clearly.



The Bible smooshes everything together making it difficult to gain perspective of time.

For instance, the Proverbs 31 woman embodies all that we should and can be but not all of this will happen every day of your life.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: Ecclesiastes 3:1

One thing I’ve learned is that my life can be broken up into very defined sections. I don’t believe there is such a thing as balance. In fact, life begs to differ with the idea of balance. Simply put, when you’re heavily focused on dishes, you can’t simultaneously be mastering the ironing. Either the sink will overflow or the shirt will burn.

The same shows itself with all tasks, projects, and priorities in life.


To illustrate, as a young single woman, you learn and master gardening or crafting. It’s just you, and God, you’ve got tins of “time”.  You sleep later but faithfully engage in devotions at noon for years.


Then, you marry and begin getting up with the sun to make breakfast for your husband. Although crafting and making your own clothing doesn’t have much of a place anymore, you master honoring your husband and tending to his needs and taking care of the finances. You travel together and spend every moment getting to know each other mentally, emotionally and intimately.


Not long later, with great joy, you find your having a child. Then another and another, before you know it, your nest is ignited with little laughs, diapers, and mess galore. 

The nights are long and hard. Getting up before the sun even has a chance to rise is your new way of life. The days are filled with teaching and training.

You burn the candle at both ends but you are mastering the art of homemaking. Making your own cleaning products, making sure everybody is healthy and frugal is your jam (homemade, of course). You buy and sell to help your hardworking working husband without complaint. Working with your hands is your greatest skill.

These days don’t afford you much time to garden but you sure know how to bargain shop to ensure your beloved family is healthy.


Eventually your children are raised and move out to embark on journeys of their own. Meanwhile you, they praise the job you’ve done and your husband looks on you and the work you’ve put into the family with trust and admiration. You settle into ministry teaching younger women the ways of the Lord and sharing the gospel.

You see, you are that Proverbs woman. She is attainable. Each day you do as the Lord commands and you will find the truth behind who the Proverbs 31 woman truly is.

You must take steps to learn and master one or two things at a time.


Balance is essentially a figment of imagination. Picture a juggler, it’s not balance that creates that awesome display of throwing delicate tea cups one by one through the air, catching them and continuing the cycle.

It’s keeping their eye focused and catching each individual piece of hand-painted yet fragile glass where it needs to be caught in order to release it again and catch the next.

That’s not balance, its timing and focus. It’s trusting the process and taking action through the fear and obstacles life throws at you.

So, when we read all these amazing feats the Proverbs 31 woman does, it’s not all at the same time.

Perception is everything here, especially when we think about who the Proverbs 31 Woman is. It’s easy to think she does it all every day with utter perfection. Truth be told, just reading the chapter out loud makes me a bit tired and ready for a nap. But, seriously, this is not happening every day.

We all go through seasons of life. Doesn’t it make more sense that maybe when she was a newlywed, she and her husband lived out Song of Solomon.  Maybe they had no children yet and had the time to enjoy each other to the fullest as they grew and learned to trust each other and bask in becoming one.

Then she has children and she is homemaker, doing laundry, cooking the best meals for her family, while teaching them the ways of the Lord.

Then as her children grow older and less dependent, she embarks on a ministry of creating and selling her goods. Then her ministry grows with more age as she has gotten wiser and her children older still beginning a journey of life on their own.

There is a season for everything but not everything happens in every season.

You’re more likely to succeed when you evaluate what this season is all about and what the Lord is doing right now. From there, you can more accurately decide what will be the most valuable for right now and pour into that with your heart and soul. Master it.

Forget trying to be Jill of all trades. Instead, master each season as it comes.

The past doesn’t matter. The future doesn’t matter. What is the most valuable to your life right at this moment?

The proverbs woman is there to encourage you. She is written in glorious merit to ignite your spirit of faith and send your heart’s desire soaring into the role of a woman: The way God designed it to be.

Who is the Proverbs 31 Woman? YOU! She’s you.

All this time, misunderstanding that untouchable woman, yet you are meant to be a Proverbs 31 Woman. You can cultivate a fulfilling life when you embrace the present and Cultivate Life with Courage.

Come find me on Facebook, that's where I hang out when I'm not writing. Talk soon!

Words are always more fun when you hold that vowel for an extra beat. Am I right? Anyhoo, thanks for stopping by. I'm committed to helping women crush the belief that being loved is possible for everyone but herself while learning to cultivate life with courage!!



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