WHY SPENDING MOTHER’S DAY WITHOUT YOUR CHILDREN IS SMART
Have you ever not wanted to be with your children on Mother’s Day? Don’t worry; you’re not evil mother of the year if you answered yes. Mother’s day is an interesting holiday. In perspective, Mother’s day is a massive money making industry. According to studies, Mother’s day is the number #1 busiest restaurant day of the year.
Moms are taken out to eat food on an annual basis. Reasoning? Because Mom spends the rest of the year cooking for everybody else, it’s a one night break. Let’s be real, who wants to make mom cook and clean the kitchen on “her” day. That’s mean.
Call me ungrateful, but, for all the work I and other moms do the remaining 364 days a year, I’d like something more than brunch.
Truth is, I don’t want gifts either. There’s something much more precious than that.
Real Authentic Rest!
THE INFAMOUS QUESTION
So, it all started when my hubster asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day. Generally speaking, the first thing that popped in my mind was “NOTHING! Please, nothing. I’m so tired”.
Also, I’m super simple, and don’t need more than a Happy Mother’s Day. Truth is, I’d prefer we save the money.
Any noodle, I wasn’t sure what nothing meant exactly. But, for those who don’t know, I’m a mother of 7 energetic children 2 girls and 5 boys in a row. Also, wife to an on the go, hard working, blue collar man of God.
Unremarkably, busy is an understatement.
With furious certainty, I was sure I didn’t want to go fight massive crowds for food, AGAIN.
Forget baseball. Eating has become America’s favorite past time if you ask me.
Jokes! But seriously, I’m trying ta lose weight, the last thing I need is another buffet!
Homemaker by trade, my heart is at rest and truly the joy of life. There’s nothing more fulfilling than cooking, cleaning, and being with my husband and children.
Why? Most noteworthy, because God designed this role special for me.
Being a homemaking mother, although it’s become super unpopular, is my dream career.
SOME TRUTH ABOUT MOTHER’S DAY
Essentially, the love of my career is where the battle about not wanting to do anything for Mother’s day surfaced. Also, I began to wonder, what if I don’t want to spend Mother’s day with my children.
Before you wonder if I’ve lost my mind, let me explain.
I’ll start by stating the obvious. Being a mother is tough work. I know that’s not something you need to be reminded of, but indulge me a few lines here.
Raising children isn’t made of only happy smiling faces and craft time, unless your life is a 70’s sitcom. Otherwise, like clockwork, mom life comes with frustration, tears, yelling, and hurt feelings. Not to mention, regrets for actions taken or not taken.
Life with children, right alongside the wonderful moments, consists of dirty rooms, dishes, power struggles, and laundry, oh my. Mountains of endless laundry. In fact, to make that mountain even more amazing. Often the clothes you just washed and folded are found back in that mountain still clean.
The struggle is real Y’all.
My point, when it comes to this one day. Mothers all over the world wake up with a fantasy surrounding the celebration of motherhood. A bliss filled day WITH the same children that throw tantrums over the color of their cup. Cop an attitude about not receiving the answer they wanted. Leave their toys all over the house or need I say it, are gigantic messes during mealtime. Great idea, let’s all go out to eat to celebrate MOM!
Let me be clear, that doesn’t mean Mom loves less. Unfortunately, it means, Mother’s day doesn’t mean we can or will ignore the behavior. Mothering is a full time, no days off kinda job.
I know you know.
The infamous phrase, “how many times do I have to tell you” doesn’t come to a screeching halt because it’s Mother’s Day.
Alas, your beautiful, creative children don’t become perfect little listeners, in the same way, you don’t become that perfect parent you’ve wished and strive to be overnight. Just. Because. It’s. Mother’s Day.
By nature, we want this day to be blissful and perfect but some brutal honesty, life goes on. With or without the second Sunday in May.
THEN IT HAPPEN
Like fireworks on the 4th of July. Things came to perfect clarity revealing that following this tradition wasn’t required.
Dum Da Dummmm!!!
Who woulda thunk, but also, shows the mighty power of tradition.
So, instead of going out to eat and spending the entire time “mothering” I decided to stay home and let everybody else take my children out. Hero hubster is perfectly capable. Even more, the age-old problem, Which Mother gets the day? Solved. If your mom or mother in law want to go eat and celebrate with your children, please, by any means available, let them!
After all, grandmas don’t mother grandchildren, unless you call saying yes to everything actual mothering.
I’m excited to tell you, the year I did what I wanted gave me the bliss I imagined.
My day consisted of sleeping as much as I wanted and when I wanted. Taking a bath without someone small begging and trying to get in. Sitting in total silence, followed by watching something on TV that wasn’t animated. All while NOT Mothering a single soul.
WHAT I LEARNED
In fact, it’s official, that goes down in history as blissful. Before the clock struck 9am, (yes I slept in) my children greeted me with breakfast in bed. It’s worth noting, breakfast tasted better than any restaurant. Supervised by daddy of course, I’m pleased to announce I didn’t have to mother safety or cleanliness for that event.
Daddy took the children to play at the park, and out to eat with my mother in law. They were gone all day, after running off energy, they popped in here and there. There was an instinct to “check in” on me. So sweet!
By the end of the day, they brought gifts. Everybody was excited. Beyond that, the best part was I hadn’t yelled at them, gotten upset for anything, or demanded they do anything ALL DAY.
Peace abounded. Enjoying my children’s periodic presence throughout the day was so amazing.
Especially, since I didn’t spend the day mothering them to high heaven.
Finally, the children stayed the night with grandma and daddy brought dinner home. We ate in the comfort of our home together.
No surprise, I actually felt rested the next day, instead of worn out from fighting the same daily routine Mom does every day. Only difference, on Mother’s Day, we all go out to the same restaurants and do it together as a country.
In all honesty here, looking at Mother’s day in a whole new way has brought freedom from tradition I didn’t realize I was bound to. And I Love It!
It’s true, I wrestled with the idea for several weeks, only because it was a tradition though. I don’t feel guilty for taking Mother’s day off.
And for the record.
My children have no idea mommy took a day off. They love me the same and next year I’m taking the day off again!
If you have a minute tell me what your biggest struggle is with Mother’s Day or motherhood in general. I’d love to hear how you celebrate or what you’re struggling with.