You'll encounter affiliate links. >>> disclosure.

Sharing is caring!

BE A PROVERBS 31 WOMAN (Learn what it’s all about)

Are you a Proverbs 31 Woman?

Do you know what a Proverbs 31 Woman is but struggle to be like her? Do you have the desire but the results seem impossible?

I know exactly what that feels like. Chasing after the Proverbs 31 Woman has the potential to eat you from the inside out if you don’t grab a hold of it with wisdom and understanding.

I’m gonna take a step back first.

I wasn’t raised in the faith of Jesus Christ and I didn’t have a marriage example. My mom was a full-blown worker-bee. She worked 2 and 3 jobs for 30 + years while she raised my brother and I alone.

It’s not surprising, both my brother and I gained the same mentality. Work, work, work. Sure, there are some definite benefits to being hireable while having an innate ability to perform any job handed to you, drizzled with awesome sauce every time.

Needless to say, we are great workers, dedicated, and productive members of society. Thank you, Mom. But I wanted to be a wife and mother who didn’t chase a career but was present with my children and knew how to love a husband with gracious mercy.


My problem came when I found the Lord and got married at the age of 28. If my husband had been counseled in what to look for in a virtuous, Proverbs 31 Woman, I certainly wouldn’t have fit the bill. I was new off the heathen-woman wagon and knew nothing of what a virtuous woman was.

Needless to say, my husband could’ve avoided much heartache and a whole lot of pushback if he had actually married a Proverbs 31 Woman instead of me.

You know the saying “whoa, you dodged that bullet” yea, he didn’t!

I’m not talking about minor issues here. I was the pinnacle of a heathen-independent-woman, She Ra, hear me roar. I can do all things, make all decisions better, I need no man, I’ll muscle the lid on the jar until I’m blue in the face but I’m doing it myself, kinda woman. All as the breadwinner, in a pant suit.

Okay, probably not a pant suit, I excelled in hard labor so dirty pants with steel-toed boots. Watch out, boys!

I was the woman who had a majority of male friends because “I didn’t get along with women” haha. The classic tale of the intimidating independent woman.

Yep, that kinda pushback. It wasn’t peaceful by any means. Our marriage was chaos as I sought to rule our home. Ironically though, it wasn’t because of a desire to rule, it was my nature combined with being raised to work and care for myself. Not to mention, doing it very well. After 20 years, it was simply habit.

Gratefully, and might I add mercifully, I was a newly born-again believer and had a desire to do what pleased the Lord.  My life changed as I began living in God’s design. He changed me into a virtuous woman. But going from a heathen woman to a virtuous woman is no walk in the park ladies.

Still, there is no excuse to remain outside of God’s design, regardless of how difficult it is to change. And so, the journey began.



In the book of Proverbs, wisdom is demonstrated as a woman. Many have said that the Proverbs 31 Woman in chapter 31 verses 10-31 is not an actual woman but simply the wisdom behind a godly woman. I beg to differ. The Proverbs Woman is very real and active on a day to day basis. Certainly, you need wisdom but maturity and wisdom come with life experience and Bible study.

A virtuous woman is that is actively having or showing virtue. She is chaste, acting with moral excellence, which has a commendable quality. A virtuous woman also carries the active power to accomplish with influence a desired result.

We see many women running the show by influence, however, their motive isn’t godly and that is distinct difference in a heathen woman vs a Proverbs Woman.  The virtuous woman is a rare find, with a value that far exceeds that of precious stones and jewels. She goes above and beyond expectation because a virtuous woman fears the Lord, seeks to do as the Lord commands and reflect His glory as her main goal.



First thing to remember, there’s one way to never reach your goal — quit.

No matter how hard it gets you must keep getting up. On the flipside, there’s  one way to overcome —  to go right through it.

Not around it, not over it or under it. Your maturity, capacity, and wisdom come by experiencing and living. You have to push through the fear even when it looks daunting.


Acknowledging you aren’t where you should be is half the battle. The design the Lord has created for a woman isn’t easy nor is it popular. Accepting it as absolutely truth will keep you going when every cell in your body want to just do it your own way. Ask me how I know that.

What do you think a virtuous woman is? What characteristics does she have? What are some characteristics you need to change?

Bible Study:

Now that you’ve accepted that God has a major calling on you as a woman. And it’s a beautiful one no doubt. You need to gain some knowledge about who you are seeking to be. I take minor issue with women who start saying “God told me” all their livelong days. It is essential that you get your information or at least fact check your information with God’s word. The Bible is your lifeline. You will find exactly what your role is as a woman and who God design you to be.

What is your purpose? Did God design you for a specific reason? What if you’re not married? 

I love a site called WifeyPrep. She focused on readying herself to be a wife. There are things I wish I had focused on before I gto married. CHeck her out on Facebook. 


Bible study and prayer go hand in hand. You pray to ask and share. You read to receive the answer and communication in return. God’s word is never silent. So pray. Be honest in your prayer. One of the biggest mistakes I see women make is holding back what we consider negative emotions like anger, disappointment or doubt from the Lord in hopes to hide them.

Friendly reminder, the Lord is all-knowing. Nothing can be hidden from him so that’s an immediate failed mission. And two, if you won’t let go of it, how can he take care of it. You’ve got to get it out. Imagine if you kept withholding from your spouse? How would your relationship grow? Same with the Lord. Give Him all of you.

What don’t you want the Lord to know? What are you ashamed of? What do you need to let go of?



I’m gonna be blunt honest with you. Coming from a hardcore background of independence you will fail, probably more than once but do not stop there. Don’t make excuses, own it. Take responsibility for it and get back up. There is victory in the name Jesus. He didn’t die so you could stay stuck in sin and disobedience. He died (and rose again) so that, you could be free from the chains of death. Anything that goes against God has no place in your life.

What is your biggest struggle? What is the first step to change that? What godly behavior will you replace the ungodly behavior with?



There is no one else who can do the work for you. When I first married, I had a major rage problem. This wasn’t your average anger mismanagement. It was seeing-red-violent-rage. I felt like a caged bear being poked at. I had let my rage loose on my husband and children.

I study, prayed and attended church groups. Until one night, it was pouring down rain and I had had enough of hurting those around me and needed to get past this once and for all.

I didn’t know what else to do so I went outside in the pouring rain and fell to my knees in utter desperation yelling and screaming for God to take the rage away. I needed Him to overcome this ugliness within me. Felt like a scene straight out of a …. movie.

I was embarrassed and felt shame.

But still the Lord poked me back up, humbled me to apologize and ask forgiveness and keep practicing the right way. Today, I rarely get angry. old habits of fighting and raging out when I felt threatened or disappointed have been replaced with compassion, maturity and wisdom.

For the most part not much bothers me overall, but on that off occasion when I’m super tired or hangry, I don’t react with rage. I react with virtue a high moral excellence by expressing myself or holding my peace altogether. After all, not every grievance needs to be heard. Not by my husband anyway.

What is your why? Why do you want to be a virtuous woman? When you have a why you have motivation to keep going.



  1. Know your value and worth. A virtuous woman is a rare find and her price is far above rubies.
  2. Have strong godly confidence. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
  3. Flourishing wisdom. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness
  4. Experience greater joy. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
  5. Be acknowledged. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
  6. Exceed the expectation. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.



Today’s society make it hard to be the woman the Lord talks about in Proverbs 31. Being a woman who wants to submit to her husband even if he’s wrong is frowned upon. Women who follow their husband lead without excuse and a long list of “only if he….” is look at as weak and oppressed. Expressing the desire to bare children instead of chasing a career is devalued. Feminist expect women to chase dreams of being a working mom.

Problem is, balance is a myth.

No matter how hard a woman tries either the home or the children will suffer. It’s pure logic, not to mention, it’s not God’s design. Nevertheless, wanting to be a homemaker is not enough. Society labels it outdated and a concept of holding women down.

That couldn’t be further from the truth. Women have the power to hold family units together. It takes immeasurable strength to live as a virtuous woman who submits to her husband, raises children as a career and cares for the home day in and day out.

Find a solid woman who can support you through your transition from heathen behavior to godly behavior. Find a woman who won’t tell you all the things your husband needs to change but hold you accountable. That’s is super tough but so worth it.



God has worked wonders in my heart and my life bares fruit of the changes that took place within me. I’m still learning too, which is a delight.

Always remain teachable, you’re on a magnificent journey, changing your whole legacy from heathen to godly. Be confident and Praise be to the Lord! Cultivate life with courage.

Come find me on Facebook, that's where I hang out when I'm not writing. Talk soon!

Words are always more fun when you hold that vowel for an extra beat. Am I right? Anyhoo, thanks for stopping by. I’m committed to helping women crush the belief that being loved is possible for everyone but herself while learning to cultivate life with courage!!



0 0 votes
Article Rating
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x