Ever heard of the Proverbs 31 Man?
As a mother of 5 boys I was intrigued in my study of the Proverbs 31 Woman to realize the chapter begins as counsel of a mother to her son. It’s common to hear about the iconic verses Proverbs 31:10-31. But the chapter starts out awesome.
If you have boys, you need to hear this, then they need to hear this…
More than once in their lifetime.
Sons are so important. In fact, throughout history, sons were the more desired gender. In many ways sons were seen as more valuable, names heirs to carry on legacy, labor, helping to build and cultivate the land.
Daughters, like their mother were homemakers. Although women did a lot of labor, they weren’t the muscle or the leaders.
PROVERBS 31 MAN
The boys were the leaders because men are the leaders. God has given the role of leadership and head of household to the man.
In the case of a godly man, a godly mother knew he needed some wise direction in order to carry out a fruitful and productive leadership.
The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.
Being a stay-at-home-mom is such a blessing. Especially in today’s society where they put more emphasis on choosing gender than counting back change.
In any case, the divine privilege a mother has to teach her sons is truly priceless. This man’s mother was wise and mature. She knew what his life would require of him based on God’s design and she spoke directly to that, careful not to steer him astray from the Lord.
Be the mother that speaks wisdom to the future while living in the present.
What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows?
Sons are special. As a mother to 5 of my own, I hold my dear boys close to my heart. With that said, the day will come when they will grow up and marry.
One day, another woman will steal their heart, so be ready to give them up gracefully. Love their Father and cultivate their blossoming manhood.
Instill strength and confidence, so that, they can take on the world standing on a firm foundation.
Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.
This is not a new concept; we see it in the garden with Adam and Eve and we see it again with Ahab and Jezebel and Samson and Delilah. Men give up their leadership to the voice of women.
As a dizzying result, they falter and make decisions that aren’t blessed by the Lord. They become weak and fall away from God’s design. Sadly, this destroys kings.
Set your son up to not end up the king laying wounded and bloodied from giving their strength up to women.
It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes’ strong drink:
Alcohol is one of the biggest killers in our world today. Next to food, alcohol is the largest social vice. Millions of people are destroying their families and losing their ability to make wise decisions due to the sickly dependence on strong drinks to help them escape reality.
Be the example. Alcohol plays no part in living an accomplished life.
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Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted.
Something many people don’t know is that alcohol is a depressant. From the outside looking in drinkers seem to be having the time of their life but that’s the deceit. Ever heard of a “nightcap”. Drinkers have a drink before bed because it puts them to sleep.
Truth is, alcohol makes people hazy and unable to think straight. This is why you see people drunk when they’re breaking the law, driving drunk, or suddenly gaining a seemingly invincible courage to do things they wouldn’t in a sober state.
Alcohol perverts sound judgement, teach the concept and benefit of a sober mind.
Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.
Ironically, his mother advises him to give strong drink to those who are ready to perish, as in die. It will numb the pain as death takes them away. Or again, act as a depressant when an individual has a heavy heart.
Alcohol causes a smooth blur when grief strikes and offers an escape from the pain. Still, she says this is not the way for kings to deal with these impending life experiences but you can offer others this option.
A king must remain sober to watch over his people.
Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.
Note the importance of alcohol, she drives home that drinking is not social when in fact, it causes the user to forget and escape. It’s a mercy under the leadership of a sober head. If the king is drunk, his people will fail.
It’s wise to instruct and teach sons that they are kings and leader and they have the calling to lead their people.
Whether it be a wife and children or friends both are essential and require a leader.
Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.
Stand up for the least. God has made it very clear through the whole Bible that men are the leaders and head of the household as well as the church.
Seeing men stand for those who are in lesser positions is rare. Teach your son to be bold for those who have less ability than he and needs voice.
His voice can change the world when used according to the Lord’s commands.
Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.
Being brave and bold is often a lonely road. Society says don’t judge, yet this wise woman instead instructs her son to judge righteously and to plead for the needy.
This is a narrow and desolate road. Raising sons to be the leader rather than following the crows is a dynamically invaluable lesson and way of life.
Teach him to be wise in judgement.
Being a proverbs mother requires acting and speaking with virtue. Truth is, a woman has an immense amount of power and influence, especially over your sons.
Be careful to wield that power with tempered with God’s grace and divine leading. As a mother you have 18 short years use them wisely.
Three things you can do to love your sons into a Proverbs 31 Man:
* Always use God’s word as the standard. It’s easy to fall into a complacent and worldly way of thinking. Society has a way of weaving ideas into our minds and planting corruption.
Men and women are emotional beings by nature but women are more likely to be driven by their emotions. Be aware to raising your sons up to make decisions based on the word of God.
For instance, a woman will choose a church based on how the music made her feel or how the pastor message made her feel. A woman will come away saying “something didn’t feel right there”.
Whereas a man will make a decision based on the factual evidence. Was the worship clean and honoring regardless of feeling and was the pastors’ message biblical. He will walk away with pros and cons based on God’s standard.
The Lord is the most trustworthy leadership and they need to see you living that out. The Bible is a lifeline, even more so in the coming days.
* Honor their father. A boy needs to see you uphold the position and role God created for a man. Their father is the single most important male in their life.
They will learn to be a man from their father and they will learn how a woman should treat them from how you treat their father. Be aware you are showing them a godly way.
Submission, honor and respect our keys to raising boys who treat women well and in turn find a woman who will treat him well in return. Based on my faith, I advocate marriage before children and to remain married to death does part you but I realize not all my readers are in this position. (I live with the consequences of broken homes and fatherless children.)
However, you don’t have to be in a relationship to show respect and keep their father in an authoritative role in their life. You can still not question their father’s authority.
* Let go gracefully. Possibly one of the hardest things to do is watch another woman steal the heart of your beloved son. It’s something you should be praying for the grace to do long before it happens.
Marriage is hard enough without a mother who won’t let go and let her son be the man his wife and family needs and deserves.
When you hold expectation over your son it will most certainly cause undue stress in his life. Mainly because he wants to please you.
You are the woman who loved him and raised him up. But the test will come when you must let go and allow him to walk out the journey of his own with your support and encouragement rather than bitterness and invasion.
Your precious baby boy will depend on and trust in you to show them the right way. Every child may be different but the ways of the Lord never change.
Bless them by raising them with the leading of the Holy Spirit. Study the Bible well and get to know what the Lord desires. You will find he wants you to raise a Proverbs 31 Man!
You got this mommy!