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An Open Letter: To the Outsider Looking in

An Open Letter: To the Outsider Looking In

It’s easy to give a run down of what is done at a daily job, most do work like a well-oiled machine. Oddly, we don’t expect people to give a run down from a 9-5 job but it’s acceptable to assume they did something right? What is a day in the life of a stay-at-home mom like?

When it comes to stay-at-home moms, it’s often assumed she did nothing all day instead of something. This is one of the toughest jobs known to man. I didn’t believe this 10 years ago, my how experience can drastically change perspective. Join me as my days unravels, and yes unravel is the perfect description!

The Referee, Janitor, Chef

I’m not sorry that every fight and bicker between my children take time, disciplines to match take time. Dishes take time, preparing meals take time. Yes, and consequently, there are in fact dishes after every meal preparation, they kinda go together.

As hard as it is to fathom, you know, with me having inherited eyes in the back of my head and all. I can’t simultaneously be in the midst of the incurring mess in the bathroom while preparing the meal in the kitchen. Perhaps I should set up shop in the bathroom, everyone joins me there anyway, even during what most consider tasks that are done alone. Stay-at-home mom super powers only stretch so far.

Tiny Teamsters Union

Little people are playing with the DVD player. They have tested their mighty strength out in moving an entire shelving unit in order to get the DVDs 20 times just today. I am pretty sure they are getting stronger with each accomplishment. But for those who never see this, they may wonder, how on earth can they get in there to begin with, “She”(the mom) must have given the DVDs to the small people on purpose. I’m telling you, littles have ways and they team up, how quaint.

Future Olympian

My 11month old sumo wrestler is screaming bloody bumble bees! Ferociously kicking his legs. Getting a hold of them before they scoop through the unbelievably creative colored waste is a miracle. Now, I attempt to bend his iron straight legs so I can wipe the cutest booty ever. Good thing it is, because this is the 4th poopy diaper and we haven’t even made it to lunch yet. Remind me not to feed you again…. Oh, wait, that would deem me a horrible mom, among a list of other preconceived stay-at-home mom cliches.

Genetic Make-up

So, at 5pm when a small person who stinks horribly looks like he has been in that diaper for longer than socially acceptable, don’t let the first thing that comes to mind be “maybe she is lazy, why hasn’t this diaper been changed yet”! The poo smell has probably just become part of his DNA. Wipes are minor tools during massive episodes. That’s why we have bath time!

The Amazed Teacher

Schooling takes time, explaining factors, place value, sentence structure, multiples, prime numbers, fractions and whatever else is on the menu of learning takes time. Did we just spend an hour on one problem?! How many times have we sung the ABC’s this morning?

Putting children down for a nap while repeatedly addressing the fact that these sweet angels are incurring yet more mess instead of actually going to sleep takes time. I say more mess because with all of this going down in mommy town, I haven’t had a moment to clean up the first messes.

Hungry Again

Is everybody planning on eating next week, well grocery shopping takes time. I won’t even touch couponing, that should say enough in itself, we all know single income homes are not booming with wealth, we are delightfully seated in the lower middle-class section. I must find a way to save save save.

What Routine

Some days are better than others. Some days I can look at my watch and think wow, where has the time gone, this is smoother than meringue pie. On other days I think, please Lord, is this joke. All of this atrocity couldn’t have happened in just two hours.

Reaction or Response

I can stand at the sink and silently cry while I load the dishwasher and the baby unloads it. I can be the one who forfeits today’s lesson, again, because for the life of me, I cannot figure out how else to explain this. Somehow, finding a more productive way to explain it other than yelling, hoping to goodness something will break through has escaped my imagination.

Saying it louder has not proven to make it more understandable. Whhhhhy? This would fix so many issues, right!

Oh my, daddy should be on his way home soon. Time to start dinner. Would be nice to work somewhere the menu is already planned…. ours is not! So what’s for dinner. I never got to laundry, ahhhhh, I guess there is always tomorrow. Hopefully we all have clean underwear. Mismatched socks are fine, its not a fight I’m willing to even do battle with.

The Majesty Just Below the Surface

Each day the children are blessed by the fact that mommy is home teaching and caring for them. They don’t actually know this is a blessing yet, so of course there are typically no specific thank yous for that. Even on my best days, I wonder why did I do this or that. One thing is for sure, the end result isn’t always a clean house at the end of the day.

The end result is God-fearing adults, that hopefully don’t need therapy to fix all my screw ups. I want nothing more than them to be better than me. To truly follow the ways of the Lord.

I want them to experience the freedom of Jesus. I don’t want to create cookie cutter Christians but children who really really Love Jesus and have a burning desire to obey Him because they WANT to.

Oh Lord, the agony of screwing up yet another day as the years seem to be screaming by. Before I know it they will be living their own lives and I can’t do anything but cry wondering if I have done enough so that they don’t put God in a box because of me. 

The end result is having children that grow to be decent God fearing, hardworking and responsible adults and positively productive contributor to society. That is another 20 years from now!

When I embarked on this journey I knew I didn’t know a thing about how to make this work. I wasn’t ready but I was ready because God was ready to take me through this part of life. When going to a corporate job everything is already planned out, everything already has a policy and procedure.

Being a stay-at-home mom means creating all of that from scratch and what works for one child may not work for another. What you thought may be the definitive answer to which everything is structured may end up failing and the need to start from scratch all over again arises.

The emotions that come with being a stay-at-home mom can range from smiling joy to furious sadness and everything in between. Teaching never stops!

Hang in there. Being a parent is the toughest job with possibly the most crucial outcome. Who did we raise? The end results are sometimes 30 years down the road. But it is worth it!

Tell me what kind of beautiful mess you find yourself in and how do you handle it. Come join me on Facebook, and Pinterest



Words are always more fun when you hold that vowel for an extra beat. Am I right? Anyhoo, thanks for stopping by. I'm committed to helping women crush the belief that being loved is possible for everyone but herself while learning to cultivate life with courage!!



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