LOVE YOUR HUSBAND BETTER (2 unpopular but game-changing ways included)
Do you find it hard to love your husband?
Do you question whether he deserves your respect?
I do, which made me start thinking.
God’s artistry is breathtaking. Still, I’m often in awe when I visualize the placement of the stars, the sun in proportion to the moon, a newborn child resting on my chest after hours of labor. God is the ultimate designer!
You’re probably asking, what does that have to do with my husband?
See, God also designed marriage. Essentially, that same majesty of all things overflows into marriage. God has orchestrated marriage so that both husband and wife complement each other. It’s most abundantly shown in how you love your husband and how he loves his wife.
By far, a godly marriage can easily be the strongest most effective relationship on earth. Without a doubt, it’s dependent on how you love your husband. It’s easy to grow stagnant and fall into a place where choosing to love, as in the action word, is forgotten.
Sadly, through the mundane tasks of life, a husband falls into being “just the guy who provides”. While on the other hand, the handsome, strong, sexy, diligent man that you fell in love with gets taken for granted and hidden behind busy life. Yet, the man you fell in love with and married; He needs you to remember him.
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Genesis 2:18,22
WANT TO SAVE THIS FOR LATER OR SHARE WITH FRIENDS: PIN IT NOW⇓
When the wedding is over, it quickly becomes clear, the love chemicals and infatuation wear off.
All of a sudden, you realize marriage takes work. In any case, it’s rewarding work when done right. And every godly marriage needs to be built on a solid foundation.
My marriage has survived what most marriages die from in the first 6 months or after 30 years in. Thankfully, I’ve found 3 impacting, yet rarely spoken of ways to love your husband.
Indeed, when these actions are put into practice, they make a measurable difference in cultivating a harmonious marriage.
Love him like he is the other man!
The man who gives you butterflies when he walks in the door. With a bit of ego, the man who’ll open that stubborn jar and makes your skin tingle when he touches you.
Reconnect, with these 3 amazing ways to love your husband!
1. PRAY FOR HIM
Over the course of life, you’ll find that verbally addressing disputes regarding flaws or lack of character does more harm than good. There’s a big difference in praying to Jesus ‘about’ him opposed to praying ‘for’ him.
Wholeheartedly, I believe in being completely honest with God about every feeling and/or thought. However, you can get to a point where you’re complaining and gossiping about your husband to God, rather than truly praying for him.
God said it was not good for Adam to be alone and for that reason, he made Eve to be a help meet. As godly wives, you should be helping your husbands meet the calling God has on their lives. Women of God have a high calling it’s no small task and you shouldn’t be ashamed. God says,
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4
Making nagging, disappointment, and argument, a daily routine is a good way to break a marriage in pieces.
For instance, when you pray for your husband, it’s more effective to pray them into where you want them to be.
Focus on the desired behavior rather than the undesirable.
Pray them into the identity that Jesus has already established. Which is as simple as praying the scriptures already written.
Speak to God what is already written. You’ll be astounded by what you pray in secret being manifested in public.
No lie, as I’ve prayed over the years, there are moments all I can do is smile when God lifts up or strengthens my husband in an area I knew was there already. Truth, because God said so. God’s design for a man is clear and precise. All in all, He didn’t make a mistake and He makes good on His promises.
Lord, I’m so irritated with him today. He just can’t get anything right. All he does is leave the garbage for me to take out and comes home late. I am fed up Lord. Why can’t he just do this or that? Change him so he will do the right thing. I just can’t take it. Just change him.
Lord, thank you for my husband, for this amazing man you have created. Thank you, Lord, for putting this man at the head of our family. Thank you, Lord, for instilling in him the desire to provide for our family and fervently protect us from the evils of this world. Lord God, thank you for making him a mighty soldier for your kingdom Lord and increasing his love for you. Lord, I pray you would help me help my husband. Clear my vision and give me the ability to see from your perspective.
I pray you would reveal to me Lord what moves I can make today to make his journey more rewarding to you Father. How can I edify my husband Lord, he is loving towards me by loving you Lord and I ask that you would renew that love in him. Lord, I give him to you today. In Jesus name.
Are you ready to be honest with yourself about how healthy your marriage really is? Get the 7 secrets to fixing your marriage.
2. BE INTIMATE WITH HIM
Low and behold, the church has forgotten to talk about sex. Frankly, no forgets to tell remind husbands of the command to love their wives as Christ loved the church.
Am I right?!
On the flipside, there’s a mighty fight about God saying,
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:4-5
Pure honesty ladies, husbands need sexual intimacy from his wife! Your husband can get many things from other people. Including laughter, information, errands run or such. But, you his darling, chosen, beautiful wife, have a divine ability to give him something very special.
Sexual intimacy is an important piece of a healthy, thriving marriage.
To be blunt, make this a priority!
A healthy sexual relationship should be happening at least 3-5 times a week. With that fact on the table, when was the last time you sat in church during one sermon and heard a pastor teach that this needs to happen?
It’s a fight with women for some reason. Fact of the matter is, there would be true freedom with sexual intimacy happening on a regular basis if the church stopped hiding it under the nearest rug. I know this because the scripture says. It’s a place where embracing the truth will produce true freedom.
Happily, married men and woman of God should be having 100 times more sex than unmarried men and women.
Of course, intimacy goes beyond having sexual interactions. In general, men are visual beings. You can be sure your husband is on constant guard as to what he allows himself to look at. If he loves Jesus anyway.
It’s time wives see this as a blessing. It’s important to take the time to take care of yourself, so when your husband comes home he can let down his guard and look upon his wife freely.
He loves looking at you.
I know being a stay-at-home mom can cause some forgetfulness. It’s easy to get up in the morning with children and go through the day caring for everyone but yourself. Take action to care for yourself. Take the time to shower, get dressed in something visually appealing (sans sweats), and do your hair and make-up if that is something you use.
When my husband comes home he loves to see me lively. Your husband wants to see you alive too. It’s a great way to love him and speak to his visual needs. Be purposeful and give him something glorious to gaze at.
3. SUBMIT TO HIM
Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Submission is another topic that’s a fight as women seem to want to explain it away. Submission isn’t ugly. In fact, you will be greatly blessed by submitting with a joyful heart. The scripture says,
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Ephesians 5:22-23
By design, your husband is the leader and head of your household. This isn’t because society decided it, it’s because God decided it. Therefore, take joy in submitting to your husband’s decisions. Even more, encourage him in those decisions whether they be good, bad, or indifferent. Realistically, there’s no such thing as you being more spiritual or more mature than your husband. Especially speaking, if you refuse to submit to him as unto the Lord.
Besides, your husband will gain more confidence and will look forward to coming home to you when you show support of his position in the home. In Proverbs God tells us that,
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. Proverbs 31:11
In the long run, living a life thinking you can do it better causes nothing but distrust, strife, and chaos. Instead, show a loving heart toward your husband, by joyfully submitting to his leadership.
Try a Yes Dear moment and see if you can’t win his heart through submission.
Joyfully Love Him!
When all is said and done, remember, God’s design isn’t flawed. We are. Seek the Lord in all things regarding marriage. I encourage you to do a study regarding being a helpmeet. Rest assured, you’ll find greatness in God’s ways.
Embrace the truth, although these particular truths can be hard to grasp, there’s a freedom unlike anything else waiting.
Find freedom in God’s design for a woman. Create a life worth living and one God loves by the power of grace!
Share some ways you have shown your husband a deep love in the comments below?