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LEARN TO TRUST AGAIN AFTER AN AFFAIR

Bolting out of the gate like a prize winning race horse to say, society’s inability to overcome adultery is baffling. Equally so, it’s a topic that grieves my heart and even worse, this is a plague in the church. 
 
To the demise of God’s created design for marriage. It’s suppose to be a reflection of His relationship with us. Except, divorce due to adultery related incidents are taking place at NASCAR speeds. In general, I can’t imagine what the Lord is thinking about His people making these decisions under the guise that He approves.
 
Needless to say, the grotesque actions of adultery and pure unfaithfulness have become the new normal for the heathen and professing Christian alike. But is it new? More important, can you overcome adultery, and how do these relate.

Gods People Committed Adultery Against HiM

Jumping right in, Gods cherished people, the Israelites, were “faithful cheaters”. And you thought adultery was breaking news.

 

Anyway, they wouldn’t pull away from pagan idols and worship of other gods, no matter how it grieved the Lord. Sure as day, God watched his people forsake him for another. As if that wasn’t a hit, they would then come running back asking for mercy and forgiveness.

 

It’s a story of despair. Since God leaves nothing wasted, it’s also a testament to the long-suffering and many opportunities God gave them.

 

In the end, He wanted them to want to be in a relationship with Him.

 

Sure enough, when an individual tells me they or someone they know has been cheated on, the knee-jerk reaction is ‘feed them to the dogs’. To my dismay, even Christian counsel advises divorce. Don’t get me wrong, this sin of adultery is betrayal beyond comprehension.

 

Even still, the most compelling aspect of being a born-again follower of Christ is reconciliation. Truth be told, that’s the real reason He died. To reconcile!

 

Maybe, with that in the open, you can imagine how baffling it is when it comes to adultery. All of a sudden, Christians can’t reconcile. In any case, no explanation or excuse overshadows the power of victory available in Jesus.

 

HOW DOES GOD FEEL ABOUT ADULTER

God said to Jerusalem,

“How degenerate is your heart!….seeing you do all these things, the deeds of a brazen harlot” (v.30). God also declared, “Because your filthiness was poured out and your nakedness uncovered in your harlotry with your lovers, and with all your abominable idols, and because of the blood of your children which you gave to them,… I will judge you as women who break wedlock or shed blood are judged; I will bring blood upon you in fury and jealousy,… They shall also bring up a company against thee, and they shall stone thee with stones, and thrust thee through with their swords.” Ezekiel 16:36,38,40

 

It’s clear, God has an intense disgust towards adultery.

 

Altogether, adultery creates a whirlwind of emotions that come in waves. In addition to, a deep seeded desire to ‘know’. Know what you ask. Well, know everything involved, after all, human nature demands information. There’s an innate need know every detail. Consequently, the details deliver a soul-crushing blow with every answer. Ask me how I know!

 

In brutal honesty, to ‘know’ is extra punishment heaped on top of the initial knowledge of the adultery.

 

What’s worse is with every question answered a new question arises. If you thought the enemy was crafty before, his evil knows no bounds. Essentially, he’ll use this questioning tactic to keep you in a never-ending circle of pain. Without a doubt, it’s the devil’s way of simultaneously killing both the offender by reliving the crime. As well as, the offended by learning how deep the betrayal went.

 

Sidenote: I’ll tell you now, some advice. If you can help it, forsake the questioning altogether or as little as possible. It plays no real part in helping anything. My advice, seek the Lord instead.

 

MARRIAGE CAN BE HARD. FIND SIMPLE BUT POWERFUL WAYS TO CHANGE THE COURSE OF YOUR MARRIAGE RIGHT NOW! ↓↓↓↓

Result of Reaction

So back to the knee-jerk reaction of the offended. It is the most common place that adultery will lead to divorce. It has become as common as washing your hands after using the restroom. Not everybody does it but it’s taught since young and most do. And those who don’t viewed with disgust wondering how could you not wash your hands of (divorce) them.

 

My heart aches at the percentage of couples that cannot make it through adultery alive in mind, body, and soul. I ‘m reminded of the beating with pieces of sharp bone and metal Jesus endured. Along with having a crown of thorns crushed on top of his head. With excitement, his own people cheered it on.

 

Then, the ultimate adultery, they choose a thief to freedom and murdered Him.

 

Even still, He could’ve stopped it all and shown them supernaturally what they could not see naturally. But he knew the Will of the Father was greater. Despite the pain, he pushed through in obedience to His Father. Through the streets, carrying His cross. He died so that many would have the opportunity at life.

 

God Prepared Me AND YOU to Overcome Adultery

Years ago, during a marriage study with some friends, one of the exercises required we all sit and pray for a word from the Holy Spirit about our marriage. Everybody shared.

 

Mine was that *My marriage would bring healing*.

 

The thing I noticed is that my word wasn’t about what it would do for me. Not about what I would get out if it or how happy I would be. Instead, it highlighted that the marriage covenant I was in would bring healing to others.

 

This marriage needed to survive for others.

 

My husband and I had already been through enough heartache to supply years to come, I had no idea more was waiting.

 

Remarkably, as I write this now, it’s clear how the Lord is building my character, as usual. But also, a testimony of His glory and grace. Most noteworthy, it shows there’s a way outside the popular vote of society to throw away what’s broke.

 

I plead with you now, let God fix it and make it stronger. You can overcome by the power of Grace i Jesus name!

 

Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction. Isaiah 48:10

 

What does the Bible say about Overcoming Adultery

R epentance 2Peter 3:9

“The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”

 

R enewal Romans 12:2

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

 

R estoration Isaiah 61:1-3

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

 

To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

 

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.

 

R econciliation Col 3:12-15 Rom 12:18-21

Put on, therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man has a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

 

Romans 12:18,19,21 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

The Wrong Way to Handle Adultery

At the risk of sounding arrogant, which I don’t mean to be, there’s a definitive wrong way to handle adultery. Allow me to explain.

 

From my observation, when adultery happens people are unable to get past self, through the hurt, and allow Jesus to bring healing. That’s to say, it comes in the form of repentance, restore, renew, and reconcile all the parties affected by the sin. It takes time though.

 

Isn’t that what Jesus said, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

 

With deep regret, Jesus isn’t even given the chance. Instead, divorce happens, along with families broken.  Rather, He deserves a chance. Mind you, He’s the author and finisher, and worthy to be praised. God didn’t choose divorce with ease. For certain, it wasn’t after one time or twenty. Besides, it’s written, God hates divorce. So, there’s that.

 

Bottomline, He wants you to overcome adultery.

 

Take it Slow

Do me a favor, don’t start throwing around all the reasons not to wash your hands of this betrayer just yet. Believe me, I’m well aware of the vast variety of abusive situations and abandonment. Fort the sake of focus I’m speaking direct regarding adultery on its own. More specific, looking through God’s point of view by the example He gives handling Israel.

 

If this isn’t enough, His faithful servant Hosea is a whole other conversation. He’s instructed to marry a harlot! Let that one sink in for awhile.

 

Nevertheless, when Pharisees questioned Jesus about divorce, with intention of entrapment and discredit he shocked them..

 

The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? Matthew 19:3

 

His answer reiterated the commitment and finality of marriage. To remind them, they’re no longer two people but [oneperson]. Jesus knew marriage would have issues based on God’s own experiences. Yet and still, instead of addressing the question by listing what constitutes divorce, he edified God’s original design.

 

That’s my mission. Focus on victory and overcome adultery!

 

And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh.

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:4-6

Then the Pharisees being persistent ask again trying to trap Him. Why did Moses say it was okay to divorce. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? Matthew 19:7

 

Jesus in all His wisdom reveals the key. It was never because of the physical act but because there was a hard heart. People couldn’t get past ‘SELF’ and follow after the Lord. He then reiterates again God’s design.

 

He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning, it was not so. Matthew 19:8

 

Hang in There

Do me a favor if you’ve made it this far, set aside the list of reasons not to wash your hands after this mess. The pain is real, you’re not imagining it. I understand the ugliness and tragedy of adultery.

 

I get it 100% plus some.

 

All things considered, there’s something bigger than the betrayal. The wonder-working power of Jesus. Fact being, we’re talkin about the same power that raised God from the dead. This testimony is being written in the hope, you’ll allow Him to bring beauty from these ashes. It’s not about you, me, or us.

 

Thankfully, it’s about the glory and grace of the Lord reigning mighty through the repentance, renewal, restoration, and reconciliation of such a disaster.

 

God Gets The Glory

Above all else, being holy and set apart from the world is difficult. On the negative side, the world in you says “oh no honey, he ain’t gonna cheat on me and get away with it”. On the contrary, God in you says, I’m the daughter of the King. Refuge in the shadow of His wing is my safe haven and He will restore what’s broken!

 

Are you walking after the world or the Lord? SHINE ON GIRL!

 

Adultery should never happen. But, if it does happen, please, as Jesus was trying to convey, don’t give into what society would do. Divorce because of fornication was an option, not a command. The devil loves watching families break into pieces. Getting a divorce, in spite of a repentant spouse is walking on the blood of Christ that forgave you your sins (that’s my opinion). It’s being super concerned with self instead of Jesus centered because Jesus can fix it and with that intention wants to fix it.

 

What more can we forgive a repentant spouse who sorrows over their sin? Not everyone is me, I get that. Truth remains, no situation is too big for Jesus to fix and I didn’t come through the trials stronger because of me.

 

The glory belongs to God, HE is my strength, I simply wanted what He wanted more than what I wanted. Our children don’t need more broken homes they need VICTORY!!!!!

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ttfn,Jamee
Heeey,

Words are always more fun when you hold that vowel for an extra beat. Am I right? Anyhoo, thanks for stopping by. I'm committed to helping women crush the belief that being loved is possible for everyone but herself while learning to cultivate life with courage!!

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