HUSBAND WON’T COMMUNICATE (Find Peace in the Unknown)
Remember the funny jingle we use to recite as kids. “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”. Ironically, I haven’t heard that in years and realize I’ve just revealed my age. I welcome age because with each year I also get to welcome wisdom.
I’m not entirely surprised by that phrase disappearing with the lines surrounding gender becoming like lines being washed away in the sand. Still, we women and men are very different indeed. It’s blaring in the way men and women communicate.
It wasn’t too long ago our family was on our way to watch some fireworks for the 4th of July. A friend invited us to a BBQ and a super view of fireworks. They live on the banks of a river. One of the neighbors put on a show of huge commercial sized fireworks for all to enjoy. That was the plan anyway, but it could have very well gone sour because of one small detail. My husband won’t communicate.
Men and women may be very different but one
Living in Peace With a Husband Who Won’t Communicate
This isn’t a bash my husband topic though. It’s not because he refuses or doesn’t want to communicate with me about things. It’s his personality. He’s always been a go with the flow kinda guy. So as we’re headed out to the firework get together, something comes up in conversation and I suddenly realize…
It’s going to get cold come night time. The children have no coats to keep warm. I didn’t bring a coat. We have a 6-week old baby. We have no blankets, no chairs, no nothing.
Well, this should be fun right! I can just picture it now, everybody freezing, shivering and it’s all my husband’s fault because he won’t communicate, right!
Now here is a divine opportunity…
…to get extremely angry that I wasn’t better informed so that, I could properly prepare. The drive took about 30 minutes. In those 30 minutes, the enemy was trying his best to bait me into blaming my husband and finding all the ways this was his fault and that we would all suffer for his lack of communication.
Bite my tongue is an understatement. When my mind wants me to start a fight I literally have to bite my lip to physically hold my mouth shut. It’s for the greater good, trust me!
I know some ladies out there can relate to our mouth being comparable to a pressure cooker at times.
If you don’t take active steps in allowing the Lord to transform you in these moments, it’s a surefire way to ruin your whole family experience. Either the fireworks will be the only things exploding or your attitude and the good memories with it.
Instead, what should you do when your husband won’t communicate?
TAKE EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE
The enemy loves strife and division between spouses. It causes hurts and wounds that build and eventually lead to much worse issues. Try doing like the bible says, take every thought captive.
This means that as they arise you must “actively” disagree and dismiss each and every thought.
I guarantee you will have to do this over and over because the same thought may arise in a bit different wording with the same motive. Be aware, your mind is a powerful tool and crafty.
As a follower of Christ, it’s imperative that you don’t allow your imagination, wicked by nature, to exalt your expectations.
Bring your thoughts into the obedience of Christ on PURPOSE when your husband won’t communicate. Walking after the spirit doesn’t come accidentally. You must diligently pursue righteousness.
‘(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled. ‘
2 Corinthians 10:4-6
Learn to see the situation for what it is. It’s either an opportunity to trust in the Lord or fight your husband in disobedience to the Lord. You will choose. Wives are called to be in subjection to all things with your own husband. This means if he doesn’t communicate to you about something and it leaves you unprepared, practice seeing the silver lining in it.
Maybe ask your husband to hold you a bit closer if it gets cold. Take the opportunity to have some fun with whatever comes about and be creative. Live a little! You will be surprised at how much fun you can have when you relinquish ALL control.
Your husband will grow more confident in his decision making.
He will feel honored by you. Proverbs 31:11 will come to pass that “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil.” In turn, you will be happier as well. It feels delightful to know your husband trusts in you. Submit to your husband as unto the Lord. Ask yourself, how would you deal with the situation if the Lord won’t communicate and leaves you unprepared as you would expect preparation to go?
‘Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. ‘ Ephesians 5:22-24
TRUST IN GOD
This may seem like a given but it’s actually quite surprising the number of times you will worry and fret over something so trivial as coats and blankets or their equivalents. As if the cool summer evening is the type of cold the family won’t survive. Say that out loud and see if it sounds ridiculous.
Find peace in the fact that your expectations aren’t always the best and let it go. Don’t exalt your own perceived wisdom. Also, spend time purposefully acknowledging God in all you do. Even in these small moments that seem futile.
It’s an opportunity to shape you into a magnificent helpmeet to your husband and follower of Jesus.
After all, life is really like a firework.
The beauty of it is held in the millions of tiny bursts of fire that create an amazing and grand sight!
‘Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil. ‘ Proverbs 3:5-7
MORAL OF THE STORY
When we made it to the gathering, greeted by our friend we jokingly stated we didn’t come prepared but we had brought some meat to share. They quickly told us to take it home they had plenty and directed us to get some food.
Everybody was famished. Husbands’ had been out all day preaching the gospel on the streets of our town and my friend and the children hadn’t planned a lunch because we were anticipating the BBQ.
As we all sat and enjoyed our meal the host came out and laid SIX blankets on the table next to us with an offering for us to use them. They had more than enough chairs to use as we gathered in the area to get ready for fireworks.
In the meantime, as it was still approaching darkness, the children were running around so much they were dripping sweating.
They could barely stand to have the clothing on they were wearing let alone a COAT!
I was baffled by the provision, but it made me literally giggle and whisper a thank you to the Lord.
I wasn’tt really surprised the least bit that the Lord blessed us all! Are we ever when it really comes down to it?
Embracing peace when your husband won’t communicate will bring you a blessing. Use these moments for good rather than negative. You’ll be glad you did.
Share a time your husband wouldn’t communicate and how you handled it.
OBEDIENCE CULTIVATES JOY
Was it because I was walking after the spirit in obedience?
The night could have gone completely different if I’d started a fight about the lack of communication on our 30-minute ride there.
I know, because it’s happened before.
It’s quite possible the Lord wouldn’t have provided if I’d made a big deal out of it, because He does discipline His children.
I could have just been the only one to feel the effects of the cool summer and been miserable. Something to that effect has also happened before.
I’ve come to a place where I’m so fluid like water that I literally forget my husband won’t communicate the way I originally wanted.
I’ve learned to go with the flow so much that I forget I should even wonder what we are doing sometimes. We have so much fun without the nagging and he doesn’t feel pressured or less than for not living up to my exalted standard.
Wife expected communication is not a biblical standard commanded by God for a husband to do.
It’s never a good idea to add to the Word of God because it’s something you want. God blesses obedience and a woman who is pleasant. Be that for your husband in all things!
And remember, worry only steals the joy out of the present! So be pleasant and let it go!