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With certainty, marriage is tough. The truth of the matter is that marriage is the most sanctifying relationship on earth. You’ll never find another relationship that’ll push you, challenge you, and outright tackle every button you have threatening to take your very sanity by the ankle and rip it out from under you.

To extreme? I don’t think so.

As a former heathen woman not raised with any example aside from a failed marriage to divorce my early years of marriage were nothing short of tragedy after tragedy of doing marriage wrong.

In fact, I’m certain, I could write a book on the perfect way to do marriage wrong. I didn’t find out until several years in that marriage wasn’t to make me happy. My husband’s “job” wasn’t to make me happy. It wasn’t my “job” to make my husband happy. Our job is to live in obedience to God’s design and allow Him to make us holy, build our character, and to do all things as we would to the Lord.

And exactly what part of that even has anything to do with our spouse.

*insert billowing laugh*

Boy was I confused. I’d like to think I wasn’t just naive but movies like “The Notebook” had something to do with my intense misunderstanding of how marriage worked. Thanks Ryan Gosling! 😉

Nevertheless, we came through the valleys of heartache. Even though I had no example and my husband had no example, we both had the Lord and he gave us the direction we needed.

We’ve survived addiction, adultery, in-law chaos, financial despair, and any number of domestic issues.

Something I’ve learned, is that no marriage is ever too far gone to be rescued out of the pits of Hell!

And even more important,  no matter what the issue is, divorce only happens when one or both spouses refuse to submit to the authority of Jesus.

With all that out on the table, decorated with napkins folded in the shape of a white swans, 4 forks, too many spoons, 3 knives, and several drinking vessels now is the time to revive your marriage.




REMEMBER why you got married.

Go back to the beginning and figure our why you got married to begin with. When you got married did you think well if it doesn’t work out I can always get a divorce.

Or were you in it to win it.

It’s so easy to drown in the day to day mundane and redundant aspects of life and fighting. At some point you need to stop and revisit what brought you to your spouse to begin with. What ever drew you to them, remember that.

This may the one time when the fact that the past cant change is a wonderful blessing because they way they were. Who they were. That thing that gave you butterflies will always be real.

EVALUATE what is really going on and what you’re doing to fix it.

Do you want to save your marriage? Do you know what God thinks about divorce? Do you want a broken family or a life filled with reward and blessing? It may never be easy but is anything worth fighting for ever easy? What are you doing differently? What are you doing that’s the same? What can you change? What does Jesus say?

These are things you need to take into consideration. You can live your life raising children and fighting or living in silence but how does that help you be productive. What will your children learn from that? What kind of legacy does that leave behind? What do you want people to remember? That you stayed committed to doing as the Lord Wills or that you gave up. Get serious.

VALUE God’s design.

The Lord created marriage. And when he did he didn’t create a fairy tale wedding he created two individuals who would dance together through life. They learned together. If you think about it Adam and Eve were the first so, they had to learn and grow together. There was no option to go find someone else if it didn’t work out.

Moving forward and experiencing life together was the only option, along with the life mistakes and bad decisions. You don’t think there were some issues after they were kicked out of the garden? The whole blame game and such.

Give your marriage value because God does. After all, this isn’t about you. The Lord wants to see you succeed as a person, just so happens your marriage is by far the most sanctifying relationship you will ever be in. Embrace it and let God work through you!

INSIST on making it work.

Your marriage is only as strong as the two people in it. If you won’t listen to the Lord your strength is minimal. God says his strength is made perfect in our weakness. So essentially you’ve got two weak individuals trying to make the toughest relationship on earth  successful.

If your willing to quit you’ve already accepted death. Insist that your marriage will succeed. Insist on hope in the Lord. Keep pushing forward. Keep getting back up when you fall down. Keep praying and reaching up. Keep pursuing your spouse husband. Keep going because the more you insist that you’ll have a successful marriage the more you’ll believe it and do whatever it takes to make it happen.

VIRTUOUS way of life.

Live in such a way that the Lord is pleased. Marriage was design by way of roles and expectation from both husband and wife. These aren’t I expect you to buy me flowers type expectations. More like, I expect you to surrender, forgive, and have a good attitude type expectations.

Only a virtuous way of life will encompass all that the Lord’s commands. A virtuous woman can change the course of her marriage by living in God’s design and win the heart of her husband. Belief must be paired with action.

In case your wondering, Love is an action word to and you have to decide to love everyday if you stand any chance, take action.

EDIFY your husband.

The tongue is the strongest muscle in the whole body.

Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. James 3:5‭-‬6

You can change your life by bringing your whole body into submission. It may seem impossible. But truth is, true submission brings massive blessing. Edify your husband, he’ll not only take notice but your lives will be transformed.


If you are willing and ready to make a huge change in your marriage join us in the FREE REVIVE YOUR MARRIAGE 5-DAY EMAIL COURSE.

Right now is always the right time. If you’re waiting for the right time you may be waiting for quite some time. Where will you be in 5 days? Are you ready to find that joy again?

Your marriage deserves a chance and so many others need your testimony of victory. Jesus is in your side on your journey to a transformed marriage. Join today!

Come find me on Facebook, that's where I hang out when I'm not writing. Talk soon!

Words are always more fun when you hold that vowel for an extra beat. Am I right? Anyhoo, thanks for stopping by. I'm committed to helping women crush the belief that being loved is possible for everyone but herself while learning to cultivate life with courage!!



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