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Breaking News; the church has failed marriage! Since God created the family unit by marriage of one man and one woman, it is the responsibility of the church to be the standard according to God’s Word.


Growing up, I didn’t have my dad around. Even though my mom and dad were married, it didn’t last long before they were divorced 4 years later right before the birth of my brother. My mom never remarried. I’m sure it wasn’t for lack of desire to be married again, but it never happen.

Nevertheless, I was too young to remember the example of married life that ultimately led to a failed marriage resulting in divorce.

Marriage didn’t come for me until just after my 30th birthday. Oddly enough, I had serious commitment issues just three months prior to my wedding day. The Lord freed me from the bondage I was in. PRAISE JESUS!


I went from running from every relationship to marriage; making the biggest vow ever, “To Have and to Hold, Til DEATH DOES PART US.”

That’s one way to go big out of the gate. The Lord had freed me from so much. Taking what He created as the basis for the family unit seriously was the least I could do. Needless to say, even though the Lord had healed me of not being able to commit, I was still learning to handle everything that made me run all those years in the first place.

Every time conflict broke out I wanted to run but didn’t because I was serious about the vow made before God. So, I did the next thing I knew how to do which was fight and argue. I had no idea what marriage required.

It was an odd combination, on one hand, the vow gave me such a desire to stay true to the commitment. Not just to my husband, but to God first. After all, He healed me. On the other hand, I didn’t know how to do marriage and felt trapped. The word divorce was thrown around often in the beginning.

Most people in my marriage at the time would have been done after the first year, chalking it up to a failed marriage and moved on. And that is the common cycle these days. Not many last much past a year. If they do, it is chaos for the next years until divorce does finally come.

To my dismay and discouragement, there are many Christian members of the church who suggested divorce as well.


Technically there aren’t any good reasons according to the bible. There is what most people use as a loophole regarding adultery but it isn’t a command and it was actually due to a hard heart, not the adultery itself. I’ll go into more depth on that topic in another post coming soon

So, why people divorce? The list is long but in a nutshell, it’s a lack of surrender to Jesus with a true fear of God. You can have the saddest and extreme story of the chaos in your marriage and the main reason will still remain the same; lack of surrender to the one who reconciles all things as written.

The catch is, He doesn’t always do it in the desired time frame or how most would necessarily think it should look. It is more beneficial to learn, How to Overcome a Divided House Stronger Together.



As kind of a new Christian myself I had this fiery desire for the Lord. There was a deep desire to do what was pleasing to Him and to follow him closely. He could save a broken marriage. Honestly, the things that God saved me from individually, was ten times worse in comparison to the things that were happening in my marriage, and it was pretty ugly then.

Nevertheless, it looked like I had to believe that the blood could cover it all because the church didn’t believe it.

We left the church (building) and I began really diving into the Word of God on my own. I knew by the Words God spoke that He could make it right, make it good, and make it divine just as he created it to be! The foundation of the gospel is that Jesus died so that all may have the opportunity to be reconciled to Him.

The blood of Jesus can renew and restore all that is broken. Jesus forgives all who repent and seek Him. The King of Kings is bigger than whatever issue is in your marriage right now. God created the family unit and He wants to see it succeed.

There is no command for divorce.


If Jesus saved you while you were yet still a wretched sinner, he can save your marriage! His grace is sufficient for more than just a fun quote on a t-shirt.



There is so much talk about the blood of Christ along with His grace, and mercy upon individuals. However, when it comes to two people coming together under a vow before God, all of a sudden there are things that can’t be reconciled?? WHAT!

One thing I’ve learned without a doubt is that under no circumstances does it matter what the issue is in any marriage. It could be an addiction of any kind, adultery, abuse, gambling or lying. This list of sin could go on. The point remains…

Failed marriage resulting in divorce only happens because one or both parties of the marriage refuse to submit to the authority and healing power of Jesus Christ to reconcile all that is broken.

The church has failed marriage because no one is calling the body to repentance. The church has failed marriage because the leaders have stopped teaching holiness. The church has failed marriage because the standard is feelings and pop culture instead of GODS WORD!

People are not fasting and praying and giving up coffee to save their marriage. Rest assured, doing it to get a new promotion at work is a priority though.



The church stopped standing on the truth. God hates divorce and the church has failed in hating it with Him. Caution of offense has become more important than TRUTH!

Divorce within the body of Christ is just as common as it is in the world. Not only has the church conformed to the ways of the world. It has happened because the church believes the same way as the world. It should be the other way around. The church is honoring God with their lips but their heart is far from HIM!

The destruction of the family unit by failed marriage is not due to worldly agenda as many would think. It is due to the church failing marriage. The vow made before God should be the first and most important aspect when entering into a marriage covenant. Marriage is not a simple contract you can break when your spouse doesn’t live up to your standards.

This aspect should be taught in the church. The church is supposed to be the standard that the world sees as the right way according to the word of God. How that is supposed to happen when the church members are getting divorced at breakneck speeds. It is beyond comprehension. You can’t be a believer that Jesus never forsakes and forgives all sins while simultaneously not forgive AND keep your spouse.



There have been many terms and phrases I have heard coming from the mouth of the church. A few that stick out most are “do life with each other” “we are like onions, one layer at a time” “God is working on my heart” “I’m praying through it” or “it’s a process”.

Now hearing another Christian divorce happened because you grew apart, it was better for the children, and my favorite, irreconcilable differences (code for I was just not willing and wanted to get away and start over). I have to ponder, no wonder Jesus spoke of the lukewarm church forsaking their first love. May be hard to hear but these things make the church hypocrites.



It is time to get down to the nitty-gritty and start promoting the SUCCESS of marriage and start seeing it from Gods perspective. Put down the list of reasons why it can’t work and start a list of reasons it CAN work.

Love is not a feeling. It is an action. Those love feelings will eventually fade and you will have to choose every day and sometimes every second to love your spouse. The church needs to stop failing marriage and get on the same page as God!


Words are always more fun when you hold that vowel for an extra beat. Am I right? Anyhoo, thanks for stopping by. I'm committed to helping women crush the belief that being loved is possible for everyone but herself while learning to cultivate life with courage!!