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The most common relationship betrayal these days is adultery, by a landslide. Although divorce papers say irreconcilable differences, it’s mainly due to adultery. It doesn’t matter if you’re married or not, cheating is fairly common-place. Monogamy could almost be considered an ancient relic to some degree.

Adultery’s one of those sins that causes the kind of hurt that most find virtually impossible to forgive and move on from. Unfortunately, adultery hurts your spouse, children, friends, family, and really anyone who has ever experienced before it as well. They know the depth of hurt and it just tends to ignite a deep sorrow for the offended and bring up old pains of their own.

Since adultery leads to the highest divorce rate, the question is, is God mad about divorce even if this betrayal happens?


God’s no stranger to being cheated on. If you’re familiar with your bible, He takes you on a journey through the relationship he had with His people the Israelites and how they betrayed Him time and time again. It was sorrowful, but God’s not driven by emotions as people are.


This is good news, or we would all be dead right now. No need in thinking today is any different, because the rejection of God is even worse. So, what does God think about adultery?

God said to Jerusalem,

“How degenerate is your heart! … Seeing you do all these things, the deeds of a brazen harlot” (v.30).

God also declared,

“Because your filthiness was poured out and your nakedness uncovered in your harlotry with your lovers, and with all your abominable idols, and because of the blood of your children which you gave to them… I will judge you as women who break wedlock or shed blood are judged; I will bring blood upon you in fury and jealousy… They shall also bring up a company against thee, and they shall stone thee with stones, and thrust thee through with their swords.” Ezekiel 16:36, 38, 40

These are very harsh words from today’s perspective. In fact, I’m certain this sounds like most people who have experienced this betrayal. Of course, this is where your desire to have the mind of Christ is embraced or rejected. It’s clear God has an intense disgust towards adultery. However, the lesson is in learning how he handles it and if He is pleased with how the church handles it.



One of the problems these days, not taking the time to seek the truth for yourself syndrome. Then, fun quotes and inspiration are taken from scripture, shortened, and become the truth even if it’s wrong.


Such is the case with adultery. Adultery is actually not what the scripture says you can divorce for. It’s fornication. Jesus says if you divorce for anything other than fornication you are committing adultery.

They are two different things, but pop culture has made adultery the common verbiage. Pharisees questioned why Moses gave a command for divorcement.


Jesus makes it clear that it WAS NOT because of adultery itself that Moses made the declaration, but because of the hardness of your heart.


They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. Matthew 19:7-8


Let that sink in for a moment. If a spouse commits fornication and then comes to repentance and you won’t forgive them and move forward, you become the one who’s in sin. You’re showing an inability to walk out what Jesus teaches; which is forgiveness AND separating ones’ sin as far as the east is from the west.


The offended becomes the offender just that quickly. Jesus says from the beginning it was not so that divorce should happen.


It is written …

For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:5-6


Jesus never commands divorce for fornication. He makes it an option with clarification, that it’s actually because of the hard heart, not the fornication itself.


The hard truth, God hates divorce. Even deeper than that though is that He created it and His church is defiling it.


God had such a beautiful desire for marriage. Along with marriage, children being raised up to understand the beauty of it as well. We see in Malachi, eight very distinct specifics the Lord reveals about His view on adultery, marriage, and divorce.

1. For Judah has profaned the Lord’s holy institution which He loves

2. He has married the daughter of a foreign god.

3. May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob the man who does this, being awake and aware, …

4. You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and crying;

5. So He does not regard the offering any more, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands.

6. Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit?

7. And why one? He seeks godly offspring

8. “For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts.


God is the same yesterday, today and forever. The way He views marriage and divorce has not and will not change. There’s an expected way to handle it according to God’s Word too. Understand that God intended marriage to be a reflection of Christ and the church. It’s a covenant, an until death deal.


As a follower of Christ, you don’t get to willfully sin by marrying and divorcing when things get rough and starting over with someone new.

Isaiah 48:10 makes it incredibly clear that we are refined not by silver (the peaches and cream of life) but by the furnace (a very hot, hot oven) of affliction (hard trials and obstacles in life). Emphasis mine.


Most noteworthy, don’t commit the sin, to begin with. Pray to be led away from temptation and walk after the spirit, not the flesh. Unfortunately, hurtful things like adultery happen, but there is a way past it and the opportunity to be greatly refined by it. How can you get past it?



All are called to repentance. The offending spouse needs to come to repentance but even if they don’t that doesn’t change the calling on your life to walk out a forgiving heart and stay in prayer. Jesus has given you plenty of grace and mercy it is expected to show an offending spouse the same.

2Peter 3:9
“The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”


As a believer in Christ, you are a new creature old things have passed away including the way the world handles hurtful things. Followers of Jesus should be known by their uncanny ability to forgive the toughest roughest things that happen in life from the people who are the closest. This shows the glory of God in you. It will magnify the power of the Holy Spirit working when you are weak and want to run. And who would blame you. But Jesus can renew your state of mind to see His perspective.

Romans 12:2
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.


Whatever is broken fix it. With something like adultery, you can’t fix it. It is a deep wound but that is the beauty of the power of Jesus. He can restore everything. He can restore the lost love, desire, intimacy, fun, and TRUST. Trust is a big one but you can walk never even doubting the devotion of your spouse. That is the true restoration of Jesus.

Isaiah 61:1-3
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.


Just like Jesus died so that we could have a bridge of reconciliation back to Him, he can build that bridge between you and your spouse. You must surrender to His will. Not try… SURRENDER. Don’t get those two mixed up. Surrender is the key. If you follow your heart, you risk bitterness, hatred and eventual divorce. It is the spirit that is willing, the flesh is weak.

Instead, lead your heart to follow JESUS to reconciliation. You will do things you don’t want to do but it is possible. You don’t have to feel like doing the right thing in order to do it. You just have to be willing and humble while depending on the grace and mercies of the Lord to uphold you through it.

Col 3:12-15 Rom 12:18-21
Put on, therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

Romans 12:18,19,21
If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.


WHAT IS PRAYER: According to God’s Word








Repent and move on. Meaning; move forward in His forgiveness. Embrace the truth and walk in freedom. However, don’t take His marriage design for granted. Get on the same page as God in this. The church is failing marriage. To read how find it HERE.

Divorce should not be taught or embraced as it is. The church should be the standard, not blending in with the rest of the world. Marriage is a reflection of Christ and His bride (the church). Be the example.


Study and really grasp how God feels and what He has designed. Gain an understanding. Remember the 4 R’s to freedom. Repentance, Renewal, Restoration, Reconciliation. The power of Grace gives you the power to overcome anything. This is included in that. Walk in freedom and create a life worth living, that God is pleased with!

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Words are always more fun when you hold that vowel for an extra beat. Am I right? Anyhoo, thanks for stopping by. I'm committed to helping women crush the belief that being loved is possible for everyone but herself while learning to cultivate life with courage!!



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